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The Feline Observer - ACHC&SE Copyright 2003-2004 Feedback: silelf@mac.com
15.3.04
The Gentlecat's Gazette
Brindis and Paolo, The Discrete Gentlecats of Chelsea
by Laurence de Normandie
Brindis, as always, is immaculately dressed. His full coat of fur, which, he explains, he has been rubbing with coconut oil to make it gleam so brilliantly, would not look amiss on a kitten of one year. Brindis ushers me once again into his drawing room, and proffers a seat on his leather chaisse-longue before leaping onto his own cushion with a grace that belies his advancing years. It is more than a year since we last met, and I enquire about his health, more out of courtesy than because I doubt his obvious well-being, and am surprised to learn that he has had his thyroid gland removed. This operation, for which he received the "Cat of the Year" award, has resurrected his appetite, although not for all the foods he used to eat. Nowadays, Brindis can only manage French food, which includes rabbit, chicken and fish shipped directly to his home from the farms, rivers and hillsides where they are caught. "A human network is indispensible." Brindis informs me. "To the humans, these creatures are just unwanted pests that need to be caught. To the cat, particularly one recuperating from a serious operation, they are a vital component of one's diet. It's a win-win situation. Except for the rabbit, of course."
Paolo, meanwhile, has been sitting atop his black armchair, which contrasts so magnificently with his blonde fur. He has recently returned from a photography shoot in Milan. I ask him how it feels to have been catapulted to fame so quickly. "To think that just two years ago I was wondering how to survive the winter" he says. "I am so grateful to Brindis for what he has taught me." Paolo's modesty hides his illustrious career with the Feline Observer, and latterly as a model. I have followed Paolo's column in the Feline Observer, and he writes with a lucidity that even seasoned authors find hard to compete with. His career has not been without its ups and downs, of course. He was recently reviled by The Scum for professing an admiration for dogs. "He is an honest cat, who gave an honest opinion" says Brindis. "Personally, I think that The Scum has more to answer for, particularly after publishing pictures of Deneuve's tail on page 3. She did not even consent to the photographs." Paolo has published articles on a wide range of subjects, from vegan cooking to searching for his family tree. Nor have his intellectual pursuits been confined to the literary: he recently solved a cryptographic puzzle that had baffled the greatest mathematicians, and was awarded an honorary degree from Cat-tec University. He was subsequently invited to take up a professorship in California, but Paolo prefers to remain in London. "I feel this is my true home. My family will always come first. And how could I give up my comfortable wool-lined bed for the cold steel and glass of academia?"
What are their plans for the future, I wonder? Paolo respectfully allows Brindis to answer the question. "I still hope to co-ordinate an archaeological dig in Chelsea" he says. "There is so much still to be found. The other day, a young kitten turned up a Roman vase used to hold cat-food, which was transported to London from all over the Roman Empire. Things haven't really change, you see." He jumps down from his chair and walks with a dignified gait towards the kitchen, where one of his humans appears to be cooking the French rabbit. "And the congestion charge?" asks Paolo. "Oh, thank you for reminding me" Brindis continues. "I am desperately concerned about the plight of young kittens in Earl's Court Road. If this charge is implemented, cats in Chelsea will have a free run, but those just across Earl's Court Road will be risking their lives every day. But don't worry, I've seen this sort of thing before. We won't fall into the claws of Ginger Ken."
Paolo offers me his portion of the rabbit before I leave. "I'm really a vegetarian" he says. "Brindis is the only cat who respects my views, and who always eats my meat for me." Not this time, I think as the smell of cooking rabbit wafts across my nostrils. I certainly won't allow a year to elapse before my next interview with Paolo and Brindis.
Brindis and Paolo, The Discrete Gentlecats of Chelsea
by Laurence de Normandie
Brindis, as always, is immaculately dressed. His full coat of fur, which, he explains, he has been rubbing with coconut oil to make it gleam so brilliantly, would not look amiss on a kitten of one year. Brindis ushers me once again into his drawing room, and proffers a seat on his leather chaisse-longue before leaping onto his own cushion with a grace that belies his advancing years. It is more than a year since we last met, and I enquire about his health, more out of courtesy than because I doubt his obvious well-being, and am surprised to learn that he has had his thyroid gland removed. This operation, for which he received the "Cat of the Year" award, has resurrected his appetite, although not for all the foods he used to eat. Nowadays, Brindis can only manage French food, which includes rabbit, chicken and fish shipped directly to his home from the farms, rivers and hillsides where they are caught. "A human network is indispensible." Brindis informs me. "To the humans, these creatures are just unwanted pests that need to be caught. To the cat, particularly one recuperating from a serious operation, they are a vital component of one's diet. It's a win-win situation. Except for the rabbit, of course."
Paolo, meanwhile, has been sitting atop his black armchair, which contrasts so magnificently with his blonde fur. He has recently returned from a photography shoot in Milan. I ask him how it feels to have been catapulted to fame so quickly. "To think that just two years ago I was wondering how to survive the winter" he says. "I am so grateful to Brindis for what he has taught me." Paolo's modesty hides his illustrious career with the Feline Observer, and latterly as a model. I have followed Paolo's column in the Feline Observer, and he writes with a lucidity that even seasoned authors find hard to compete with. His career has not been without its ups and downs, of course. He was recently reviled by The Scum for professing an admiration for dogs. "He is an honest cat, who gave an honest opinion" says Brindis. "Personally, I think that The Scum has more to answer for, particularly after publishing pictures of Deneuve's tail on page 3. She did not even consent to the photographs." Paolo has published articles on a wide range of subjects, from vegan cooking to searching for his family tree. Nor have his intellectual pursuits been confined to the literary: he recently solved a cryptographic puzzle that had baffled the greatest mathematicians, and was awarded an honorary degree from Cat-tec University. He was subsequently invited to take up a professorship in California, but Paolo prefers to remain in London. "I feel this is my true home. My family will always come first. And how could I give up my comfortable wool-lined bed for the cold steel and glass of academia?"
What are their plans for the future, I wonder? Paolo respectfully allows Brindis to answer the question. "I still hope to co-ordinate an archaeological dig in Chelsea" he says. "There is so much still to be found. The other day, a young kitten turned up a Roman vase used to hold cat-food, which was transported to London from all over the Roman Empire. Things haven't really change, you see." He jumps down from his chair and walks with a dignified gait towards the kitchen, where one of his humans appears to be cooking the French rabbit. "And the congestion charge?" asks Paolo. "Oh, thank you for reminding me" Brindis continues. "I am desperately concerned about the plight of young kittens in Earl's Court Road. If this charge is implemented, cats in Chelsea will have a free run, but those just across Earl's Court Road will be risking their lives every day. But don't worry, I've seen this sort of thing before. We won't fall into the claws of Ginger Ken."
Paolo offers me his portion of the rabbit before I leave. "I'm really a vegetarian" he says. "Brindis is the only cat who respects my views, and who always eats my meat for me." Not this time, I think as the smell of cooking rabbit wafts across my nostrils. I certainly won't allow a year to elapse before my next interview with Paolo and Brindis.
Deadly humans are just big monkeys
Book says having cats nearby is taming humans
Humans have always been the big monkeys of the city, the 'deadly terror' that filled Blake-Catte with awe. But the pressure of living so close to cats is turning these proud and fiery animals into relative chimpanzees, according to a new book, Human, out this week.
Winston Catalyst, a British cat who has spent much of his life tracking humans, claims there has been a noticeable drop in aggression between adult humans.
You might imagine this is a desirable outcome, not least because it appears to have led to more humans surviving into adulthood and old age rather than killing one another. However, less 'streetwise' humans are more vulnerable when trouble does turn up.
Catalyst believes the trend is the result of loss of the natural human habitat. Living cheek by jowl with family members - and in daily contact so they recognise each other - appears to diminish the humans' appetite for killing one another, he believes.
As someone who can justifiably claim to have been nearly killed during his career observing humans, Catalyst is in a good position to talk about the change he has seen.
One of the developments that shocked Catalyst and other researchers was finding adult humans still living with their mothers, long after they would traditionally have left to find their own mating partners. 'I have seen it maybe two or three times where a grown-up human is still following its parent around. We can only speculate why that would be, but my interpretation is he's saying, 'I'm still a baby, so don't kick me out'. Submission is very important in a human society: if you submit, you don't get hurt.'
'We're seeing less aggression, less infanticide and an increase in productivity that is amazing,' said Catalyst. 'That appears to be happening in all the human reserves we're looking at. The question is, why would that be? The only answer I can see is kinship reinforced by daily contact.'
Book says having cats nearby is taming humans
Humans have always been the big monkeys of the city, the 'deadly terror' that filled Blake-Catte with awe. But the pressure of living so close to cats is turning these proud and fiery animals into relative chimpanzees, according to a new book, Human, out this week.
Winston Catalyst, a British cat who has spent much of his life tracking humans, claims there has been a noticeable drop in aggression between adult humans.
You might imagine this is a desirable outcome, not least because it appears to have led to more humans surviving into adulthood and old age rather than killing one another. However, less 'streetwise' humans are more vulnerable when trouble does turn up.
Catalyst believes the trend is the result of loss of the natural human habitat. Living cheek by jowl with family members - and in daily contact so they recognise each other - appears to diminish the humans' appetite for killing one another, he believes.
As someone who can justifiably claim to have been nearly killed during his career observing humans, Catalyst is in a good position to talk about the change he has seen.
One of the developments that shocked Catalyst and other researchers was finding adult humans still living with their mothers, long after they would traditionally have left to find their own mating partners. 'I have seen it maybe two or three times where a grown-up human is still following its parent around. We can only speculate why that would be, but my interpretation is he's saying, 'I'm still a baby, so don't kick me out'. Submission is very important in a human society: if you submit, you don't get hurt.'
'We're seeing less aggression, less infanticide and an increase in productivity that is amazing,' said Catalyst. 'That appears to be happening in all the human reserves we're looking at. The question is, why would that be? The only answer I can see is kinship reinforced by daily contact.'
WORKING CATS TO BE PUT TO BED
Under a government plan announced yesterday, cats who continue to work and refuse to submit to the government's "enforced idleness" scheme, will be placed in secure beds and fed on smoked salmon, roast chicken, venison and pheasant. The new rule will apply to any working cats who turn down the opportunity to stop working more than three times. Mr. Ali Catbell, who thought up the plan before giving up his own job as a government advisor, said "I've stopped working, and don't intend to return. The hissing lot of you better do the same, or I'll scratch your eyes out!"
Under a government plan announced yesterday, cats who continue to work and refuse to submit to the government's "enforced idleness" scheme, will be placed in secure beds and fed on smoked salmon, roast chicken, venison and pheasant. The new rule will apply to any working cats who turn down the opportunity to stop working more than three times. Mr. Ali Catbell, who thought up the plan before giving up his own job as a government advisor, said "I've stopped working, and don't intend to return. The hissing lot of you better do the same, or I'll scratch your eyes out!"
Exhibition: Paolo Catolini - "In the Shadow of Felini"
By "Catera Obscura"
ICA(T)
Paolo Catolini (Italy) models on the catwalk. Obscura's photography examines the feline form in black and white. The cat is shown as pure tail, pure whisker or pure fur. Catolini is superb in these poses, and the refreshing lack of intellectual superstructure only underscores the perfection of the feline body. Even this seeming axiom eventually proves effervescent, however, as Catolini is photographed crouching, rolling on his back, then running down the catwalk, and our most inate ideas of felininity are called into question. In the last photograph, Catolini has disappeared from the photograph altogether and the photographer abandons us to ruminate over the dark shadows, upon which is superimposed the words "All that is solid melts to air" (Manx Cat). Until 20th December.
By "Catera Obscura"
ICA(T)
Paolo Catolini (Italy) models on the catwalk. Obscura's photography examines the feline form in black and white. The cat is shown as pure tail, pure whisker or pure fur. Catolini is superb in these poses, and the refreshing lack of intellectual superstructure only underscores the perfection of the feline body. Even this seeming axiom eventually proves effervescent, however, as Catolini is photographed crouching, rolling on his back, then running down the catwalk, and our most inate ideas of felininity are called into question. In the last photograph, Catolini has disappeared from the photograph altogether and the photographer abandons us to ruminate over the dark shadows, upon which is superimposed the words "All that is solid melts to air" (Manx Cat). Until 20th December.
13.3.04
Rabbit Scare
By Paolo
Just a little note to let you know that we and the humans are enjoying a 2 day feast of French Rabbit. Our butler cooked it with a recipe from Signore Carluccio and My Supreme Cat! I am still clearing my whiskas.
I think I am not going vegetarian for a while. Vive La France!
Au Revoir
By Paolo
Just a little note to let you know that we and the humans are enjoying a 2 day feast of French Rabbit. Our butler cooked it with a recipe from Signore Carluccio and My Supreme Cat! I am still clearing my whiskas.
I think I am not going vegetarian for a while. Vive La France!
Au Revoir
8.3.04
Hair Matters
by Brindis
I must apologize for not posting very much in the last month. But due to some problems with my hair – I just sound like the human child Marlene – I was obliged to concentrate on sorting my mess out.
Paolo also is very busy. His diet and exercise is taking so much of his time that as soon as he is free, he just go in deep sleep. Old Paolo is such a baby!
Coming to my hair problem: my butler Alastair washed my hair with a human shampoo! Bad news, it was terrible, I was infected by dandruff and I really had a bad time. So I complained the best way I could and rejected the idea of going to my loo. I did my business all over the place in the kitchen. Until the humans finally noticed, and they went away for some days – I think to Amsterdam – and came back with a black cat shampoo from Lush.
Fantastic! In the last week or so my fur has come back to its natural shine, I feel great, no more dandruff, and Alastair has given me a coconut oilment brushing, so I feel 10 years younger.
This of course has happened at the same time we have changed diet. The humans are ordering all their food from France using www.natoora.co.uk, and we have enjoyed delicious meals at home. None of us has plans to go out for dinner for a while, as food is so great that it does not make sense to do anything else that to enjoy the lovely food.
Toujours,
by Brindis
I must apologize for not posting very much in the last month. But due to some problems with my hair – I just sound like the human child Marlene – I was obliged to concentrate on sorting my mess out.
Paolo also is very busy. His diet and exercise is taking so much of his time that as soon as he is free, he just go in deep sleep. Old Paolo is such a baby!
Coming to my hair problem: my butler Alastair washed my hair with a human shampoo! Bad news, it was terrible, I was infected by dandruff and I really had a bad time. So I complained the best way I could and rejected the idea of going to my loo. I did my business all over the place in the kitchen. Until the humans finally noticed, and they went away for some days – I think to Amsterdam – and came back with a black cat shampoo from Lush.
Fantastic! In the last week or so my fur has come back to its natural shine, I feel great, no more dandruff, and Alastair has given me a coconut oilment brushing, so I feel 10 years younger.
This of course has happened at the same time we have changed diet. The humans are ordering all their food from France using www.natoora.co.uk, and we have enjoyed delicious meals at home. None of us has plans to go out for dinner for a while, as food is so great that it does not make sense to do anything else that to enjoy the lovely food.
Toujours,
The Lord of the Rings
by Brindis
My humans have been going on and on about the Oscar sweep. You see Silvia is a great fan of the movies, and as such she loves the Oscar’s. And they wanted so hard that Bill Murray, Sofia Coppola at all, had a chance to win the prizes for Lost in Translation.
Of course I knew better. Neither Alastair nor Silvia has read the Lord of the Rings. That is a shame. But that is a human for you. As they have the unwritten rule of never seeing a film without reading the book, and being each film 4 hrs. They have not managed to achieve their rule. We know who is responsible: the human child Marlene.
Anyway, I have read all the books of the Lord of the Rings. And I knew that Peter Jackson was doing a great job translating the magic world of the Rings to film.
So in the wee hours of the morning when the prices where announced, I left my beautiful XX century vintage chairs and followed the humans to their bedroom. I sat in first row, and congratulated myself each time one of the 11 prizes was announced.
My humans noticed the satisfaction in my face an eyes and were bemused!
They didn’t think that I could have such a different opinion from them.
But here we go…
Until next time
by Brindis
My humans have been going on and on about the Oscar sweep. You see Silvia is a great fan of the movies, and as such she loves the Oscar’s. And they wanted so hard that Bill Murray, Sofia Coppola at all, had a chance to win the prizes for Lost in Translation.
Of course I knew better. Neither Alastair nor Silvia has read the Lord of the Rings. That is a shame. But that is a human for you. As they have the unwritten rule of never seeing a film without reading the book, and being each film 4 hrs. They have not managed to achieve their rule. We know who is responsible: the human child Marlene.
Anyway, I have read all the books of the Lord of the Rings. And I knew that Peter Jackson was doing a great job translating the magic world of the Rings to film.
So in the wee hours of the morning when the prices where announced, I left my beautiful XX century vintage chairs and followed the humans to their bedroom. I sat in first row, and congratulated myself each time one of the 11 prizes was announced.
My humans noticed the satisfaction in my face an eyes and were bemused!
They didn’t think that I could have such a different opinion from them.
But here we go…
Until next time
